Breathing

can be so hard when there is pain.
Wrenching wracked wrecked.
Desire to damage, but making myself hurt
won't change anything.
Redemption with a past? Despite the past?
The scorch of learning, seeing clearly
but maybe too late.
The crunching pain of new uncertainty.
Smile despite the lie.
Sleep under the blanket of Depression the Medicant.
waiting..


Oh, and the blog title above?
Complete lie. Scared shitless,
a mass of wormy nerves whose
hunger never dies,
feeding on confidence and hope.
Devouring, denying, descrying.
Afraid yet walking, some talking
Less sleep and food.
waiting still…